A Tragic Loss...or simply growing up?

I guess I am back on the blogging front again, now that I have a little more free time and some more time to think.

Recently something has been tugging on my heart. I have become so depressed that it has kept me up at night, made me cry, and made me fall to my knees begging God to change it. Maybe it's because my heart has changed over the years, but I don't really think it's changed since I was about 18. Sure things have come and gone, times have gotten worse and times have gotten better, I have been rude and ignorant, I have been compassionate and polite, but my heart has always been after God. Recently I have been completely broken by the things going on around me and I have to wonder if there is a great loss here or am I just growing up?

I became serious about God when I was about 14, learned some extremely difficult lessons during 16-18 and from then on never looked back. The one thing I was sure about was the community in which I became involved in. I made friends who I looked up to, who I could pray with, who prayed for me and uplifted me. These people were the church, they were making a difference in my life at the very least and they became the friends I thought I would always be able to entrust my spiritual journey with. Recently I have been overwhelmed at the many people I have met over the years. One by one they fall away from the Lord. My brothers and sisters have begun a descent into spiritual silence and I cannot bear to watch it. It's not necessarily dramatic, but anything you choose over God is turning away from your purpose and the life He has chosen for you. So many I know are trading in God for sex and companionship but that is not all. Whether you choose sex, family, education, a career; it doesn't matter what it is. If you are putting anything above your desire for the Lord, then your heart is in the wrong place.

I have to wonder were my friends ever serious? Did they just grow up and grow out of their hormonal imbalanced teenager self which the church so preys on? Or is there something more going on here? Are they losing something they so desperately once needed...or are they just growing up?

Nobody said it would be easy to follow the Lord. I never have thought so. But I used to always have a community of believers to help sharpen me, pray with me, and have friendship with. Now as I lose so many friends, I feel so completely isolated and depressed. We were not meant to live alone like this. We were meant to live in community for many reasons. We need to uplift each other, keep each other accountable, be there through the good and the bad, pray for each other. I am lonely and I am saddened by this loss, both for my sake and for theirs. Nobody said it was easy but I never thought I'd have to go at this alone.

Is this just life?

"You were running well; who prevented you from obeying the truth?" -Gal. 5:7